Temp!

And so, as it goes, I am basically unemployed, “working” only about 10-15 hours a week in the Philosophy Department, as I’ve mentioned before, my old work-study job. I got this great idea to temp. Be a temporary employee. Temp.

And so as it goes, I got a temp job. First I got a temp agency, then they got me a temp job. The job was in McLean (muh-clayn) Virginia, and I had to take the bus to the metro to the other bus to get there, in total about 90 minutes. On my first day, I didn’t know where to get off the bus, and so went to Tyson’s Corner, which is very very far away from DC, also is the largest mall in the area. By the time we got there, I was convinced that the bus driver didn’t know where I was supposed to get off, either, and so, late already for my first day temping, I got off the bus at the giant mall, went in, spent some time looking for an ATM and having the information people call me a cab. Maybe it doesn’t sound like it, but I was super stressed and near tears (but much of that stems from the fact that I was an hour late for my temping interview, because of the stupid bus and metro situation then too). So. My cab came, I arrived at the job, was told to report to a part time college girl who is 20 (and adorable) and together we would be overseeing the Fall Coupon Promotion. Ugh and shiver.

And so they sort of explained to me what was going on and then gave me reams of paper containing phone numbers of all the different stores in various strip malls throughout Maryland and Virginia. The name of the company I was working for led the people on the other end of the phone line to think I was trying to sell them something and so I had to be really annoying to get them to listen to me and explain that they had done this every year for years. My stress level was still pretty high, and I was shunted into a “cubicle” that was actually a supply closet of sorts with various promotional materials (box contains: 10 reindeer, 1 penguin, 5 bears with sweaters) and leftover signs (Scarecrow making here! Free!).

Then then then, Shirl, the owner, stuck her head into my little room (also right a cross from the bathroom) to tell me to come into the other room for cake for someone’s birthday. I almost cried, truly. Who wants to be the temp that shows up to annoy people on the phone and then appear in the boardroom to sing to someone she will work with for 3 days? I finally decided it would be weirder (only slightly) if I didn’t show up and so I waited for all the singing to be over, then hovered around the door. Very awkward. To top it off, as I was scraping icing off my grocery store cake, everyone was remembering that weird girl who used to work there who actually hated icing!

It all got better, and they were nice to me, and I am a good and efficient employee, and I learned the bus schedule so I wouldn’t be late, and today was my last day. And there was cake again. And it was the same cake. And the same crayon candles (promotional item from my cube?) and one of the girls had a shirt screenprinted with the words “Frosting Rules!” for the birthday boy. I happily scraped mine off and gave it to Shirl, who ate it with glee. And then I left forever and ever and now I am on a train to New York City for a real real real job interview, and I truly hope that temp gig was my one and only.